I haven't spoken to young buck in so long I am beginning to think it's for the best for real this time.
Don't get me wrong, my entire body craves for everything about him and I know it's not a good idea to go down that road ever again.
There have been a few times where I thought I was going to get weak and just go over there.
There has to be a way to really get this out of my system. I'm on the right road. NO conversation or exchange of messages in so long.
Tomorrow is a new day. Crossing my fingers that I'll be able to stay strong.
Feb 24, 2008
Feb 20, 2008
The secrets of it all
There's so many secrets shared and discovered in this world. I have to admit once my secrets are exposed, it will change my life drastically. I find myself living on the edge and just crossing my fingers that I can buy some time. Like 2000 years worth.
Feb 18, 2008
Old friends are here to stay
I have an old old friend that I have to admit will lie down his life for me. I can honestly say he is the only person in this world that will truly do anything for me. I know this and wonder why I never made the choice to spend my life with him.
Feb 14, 2008
Feb 11, 2008
Life's decisions are lasting ones
I look back on the decisions I made in my life and I wish I could go back and make some major changes. I know this isn't possible but, if it were I would go back to the day I lost my virginity. I would have spoken up and I would have reported him.
Feb 10, 2008
Feb 4, 2008
It's been a long time.
I don't even know where to begin as an explanation to where I've been.
Instead of boring you with the boring details, I'll just pick up right where we left off.
I haven't seen or heard from Young Buck since November. That might not seem like a long time to you. For me, it feels like an eternity. I am very proud of myself for not calling him. We actually have an agreement.
I will be the one to initiate the phone calls and visits. Of course he knows how to play his part and I don't ever have to worry about him 'blowing up my spot'--The downside to this...I miss talking to him. I know that it's best that we cease all communication with each other. At least I don't have dreams about him the way I did early on in the fucklationship of ours.
I could be driving in the car and have a flash back to the fuckapades we've had and almost crashed my fucking car. Yes, it was that deep with Young Buck. He's poison though. I mean bad news to the 1000th power. I had to actually talk myself out of calling or going to visit him just to break the cycle of obsession I had for him.
There are many times I felt myself getting weak and would remind myself that it's bad news to keep having contact with him. I would look myself in the mirror and ask myself, other than the fucktacular episodes, what is so special about Young Buck.
I said some shit like, he's a really nice person. LIE! He's a rude ass mother fucker and a liar.
Then I would say but, I've known him for over 10 years. He's a good friend. LIE! I've known him for over 10 years and I know he is NO GOOD FOR ME!
See.........that is why I needed to rid myself of all things Young Buck. Two months and counting. Ya'll pray that I keep it up.
I have been needing some good as fucking lately and the rabbit ain't hitting the right spots.
Instead of boring you with the boring details, I'll just pick up right where we left off.
I haven't seen or heard from Young Buck since November. That might not seem like a long time to you. For me, it feels like an eternity. I am very proud of myself for not calling him. We actually have an agreement.
I will be the one to initiate the phone calls and visits. Of course he knows how to play his part and I don't ever have to worry about him 'blowing up my spot'--The downside to this...I miss talking to him. I know that it's best that we cease all communication with each other. At least I don't have dreams about him the way I did early on in the fucklationship of ours.
I could be driving in the car and have a flash back to the fuckapades we've had and almost crashed my fucking car. Yes, it was that deep with Young Buck. He's poison though. I mean bad news to the 1000th power. I had to actually talk myself out of calling or going to visit him just to break the cycle of obsession I had for him.
There are many times I felt myself getting weak and would remind myself that it's bad news to keep having contact with him. I would look myself in the mirror and ask myself, other than the fucktacular episodes, what is so special about Young Buck.
I said some shit like, he's a really nice person. LIE! He's a rude ass mother fucker and a liar.
Then I would say but, I've known him for over 10 years. He's a good friend. LIE! I've known him for over 10 years and I know he is NO GOOD FOR ME!
See.........that is why I needed to rid myself of all things Young Buck. Two months and counting. Ya'll pray that I keep it up.
I have been needing some good as fucking lately and the rabbit ain't hitting the right spots.
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